


====> KURLOZ: Persuade Cronus

by trashyvoid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha Trolls - Freeform, Dancestors - Freeform, Gen, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Trollian (Homestuck), chat log, dancestor session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-07 13:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashyvoid/pseuds/trashyvoid
Summary: Kurloz has a nice chat with Cronus about religion





	====> KURLOZ: Persuade Cronus

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this from like 3-6 am have fun

**— mortifyinglyMiraculous started trolling picturesqueSorcerer —**

**MM: :o)**

**MM: hey BUDDY :o)**

**PS: oh fuckin great its the clowvn**

**PS: buddy by ASSOCIATION thanks vwery much**

**PS: i personally dont hawve too much time to keep talking to the eldritch likes of you, but i guess you can amuse me if you vwant**

**PS: that IS vwhat clowvns are good for, right?**

**MM: arent you a MOTHERFUCKIN hoot, my fish-lipped chum**

**MM: cant even spare a few seconds for lil ol me**

**MM: :o(**

**MM: im just lookin for a HEART TO HEART, brother**

**MM: nothing malicious is crawling about this freaky mime’s honest intentions**

**PS: ill pretend i understood that**

**PS: and ill play along vwith your “heart to heart” makara, after all its pretty much an honor to be speaking to ME in the first place vwhat vwith being a royal prophetic vwision and all**

**PS: vwhat is it that you vwish to confide in me?**

**MM: its about my MOTHERFUCKIN faith, you see**

**PS: this should be fun**

**MM: im all confused, my GILLED GUY**

**MM: it cant be so that youre the MOTHERFUCKER to kill my MESSIAHS, is it?**

**MM: after all, nothin just quite adds up :o(**

**PS: vwhat are you talking about**

**MM: how is it that my dear, TALENTED, friend is capable of such a thing? the nicest MOTHERFUCKER i know couldn’t REALLY take someone elses god, can he?**

**PS: he sure can vwhen said god left his mark on my damn forehead**

**PS: look at me i don’t hawve a complete fucking eyebrow, thats the REAL tragedy here makara**

**MM: now i know that to be untrue, sweet solipsistic sorcerer**

**MM: the GREAT and RIGHTEOUS MESSIAH only has IMPORTANT matters to get to the bottom of, and it just ain’t like the MIRTHFUL MOTHERFUCKER to leave his mark on some random ol babe**

**MM: and never in my HONEST, WICKED, CHURCH-GOING life have I ever, EVER, heard of some prophecy in the TUMULTUOUS TEXTS or by word of our PIOUS PREACHERS, about someone ever being marked by the MESSIAH**

**MM: it feels a little awkward having to bring this up, BROTHER**

**MM: see, i dont want to tell you that youre straight DISRESPECTING my beliefs, or for the matter that youre spreading this DELUSION to our other friends :o(**

**MM: and i really wouldnt want to bring up the topic of MAGIC**

**PS: you fuckin leawve magic outta this makara that doesnt hawve SHIT to do vwith anything**

**MM: but it has all to do with it BROTHER, i just dont want to bring it up :o(**

**MM: you, my SKILLED MOTHERFUCKIN FIN-FACED FRIEND, are talented but i aint ever seen a drop of MIRTH, MIRACLE nor MAGIC to come out of your pretty little stick there**

**PS: UH**

**PS: 8EFORUS TO MAKARA, HELLO?**

**PS: i KNOWV for a FACT you’re vwatching me on that monitor of yours considering youre my goddamn host or vwhatevwer **

**PS: servwer i dont knowv this bullsht**

**MM: well i know magic and that aint magic my FRIEND**

**MM: can you turn water into a WICKED ELIXER without the use of these game mechanics?**

**PS: ill svwallow my pride for a second!**

**PS: i fucking admit it! my alchemy is shit!**

**PS: but i can DO magic**

**MM: but can you?**

**MM: can you show me something that aint a parlor trick, or something that cant be achieved through normal beforan means?**

**MM: your magic is a sham :o(**

**MM: and unless you can prove that, i gotta ask you to STOP spreading your silly little clown hate and ground yourself here BROTHER**

**MM: cuz so far all of your claims just dont seem to sit right, and if we’re gonna win this MOTHERFUCKIN game we shouldnt have any problems between players**

**MM: RIGHT? :o)**

**PS: i**

**PS: guess.**

**MM: BRAVO **

**MM: one last thing my MOTHERFUCKIN BRO**

**MM: you and serket got a little thing going on? noticed you using her 8’s**

**PS: she doesnt OWVN the number 8**

**PS: but uh, there aint a thing betvween us yet. maybe shell notice it and then finally notice me yknow**

**MM: she would have noticed you if you gave her reason to notice :o)**

**MM: anyway, THANK YOU for having this deeply IMPORTANT conversation with me brother**

**MM: i hope it was INSIGHTFUL for you as it was for me :o)**

**— mortifyinglyMiraculous ceased trolling picturesqueSorcerer —**


End file.
